August 16, 2018 4 min read
Get more details on this mother-daughter tension, and read D'Andra's apology to Brandi Redmond for *those* podcast comments.
Howdy, Y’all! Or “YAWL” as my niece Addy would say when she is throwing me some shade!
I am beyond excited to be back this season, and I know you are excited to see what all of us gals have been up to in the last few months. You all know me well enough by now to know that what you see is exactly what you get, and this year is NO different. You may have noticed from where we last left off last season that my mother and I are not on the best of terms.
As I was planning my Anniversary Party with my #RealHottHousehusband, Jeremy, it brought up my always-complicated relationship with my mother. We had not been speaking for over a month at that point, and it was weighing heavily on me. Of course, I wanted my mother to be there to celebrate with us, but I did not want to rehash negative feelings at my own party. Also, as Jeremy said, I am always trying to be the peacemaker. Not just with my mom, but with everyone in my life. Though I don’t think it’s the worst trait to possess, it does leave me feeling like the only one not getting what they need or deserve at times.
At the end of last year, my mom FINALLY handed over the keys to the business we have built together for two decades. I felt so vindicated in that moment because my mom actually trusted me to uphold her legacy and to ensure that the business would prosper. So, when she hesitated to follow through, it hurt more than you could imagine and definitely did some damage, not only to my ego, but to our personal mother daughter relationship. Even though I was nervous to see her after our silence, and maybe equally as nervous that she might not show at all, which would have been extremely awkward, I invited her to the party, and, like a true Texas woman, placed her right next to me.
During the party, everything seemed to be going fine. I thought we might be able to just ignore the issue between us and things would just sort of fall back into place on their own. However, when my mom said she didn’t think I would ever find love or happiness, it shocked me. It didn’t surprise me that she was complaining about the party being boring, as we know, Dee Simmons’ standards are higher than her hair, but it did hurt that she would talk about my past relationships so freely. She could have said she was glad that I have found happiness after everything I have been through, but for her to say she was surprised felt like the equivalent of her saying “Bless her heart.” Talk about one tough Mother…
My mom was not the only one who I was at odds with during the party, though, at least with my mom I knew what to expect. Brandi was noticeably absent during the dinner, and at the time, I had no clue why. I was truly concerned that there was tension between Brandi Redmond and me. Watching back now, I can understand why she was upset, however I wish she had just said something! The whole thing could have been cleared up with a phone call, and I would have most definitely owned up to the things I said. I don’t know if she wasn’t ready to hear my apology before or if she was too busy to confront me. It would have been nice to have our issues behind us to celebrate the occasion as friends. I am sorry for the things that I said in a podcast last year. It was never a personal attack on you! I misspoke when I generalized that everyone was on Adderall. I knew when it flew out of my mouth that I should have taken it back. My reference had nothing to do with anyone who actually uses that prescription for medical reasons. It was a generalization that I just should not have made. We all make mistakes, and I will ALWAYS own up to mine.
Speaking of mistakes, I was mortified when I realized that LeeAnne Locken’s name was spelled wrong on her name card at the party! Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a HUGE advocate for proofreading and correct grammar and spelling. When I walked into the party, I looked at all the name cards and noticed the spelling mistake. I asked the party planner to change it, but a lot was going on and I guess it was overlooked. It was not intentional. Trust me, I’ve Chaired enough events in Dallas to be attuned to these small details. It is too bad that it happened to my best friend. On the bright side, at least it wasn’t Momma Dee!
As far as LeeAnne’s amygdala is concerned, I just can’t buy into that theory as a plausible one to explain away bad behavior. I own up to my own mistakes and issues, and I have always expected the same honesty and accountability from my friends. I was surprised at our mindfulness session that LeeAnne is now blaming her bad behavior on her… amygdala. You could probably tell by my face that I was not on board with that!
Now, I am no monk, but I do believe in meditation and therapy. I think that she can potentially get better and get her anger under control. However, trying to scapegoat only part of your brain for repeated outbursts is a bunch of crap. She responds to every “threat” because she wants to, not because her amygdala doesn’t tolerate it, and until she decides to let things be and start acting like the person I know she can be, nothing will change.
I wish I could blame my amygdala for my shopping problem, but alas, it’s all me!
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